Among the most widespread causes of stress (not just professional), we note the lack of letting go. This can be present in every aspect of daily life. But what does it really mean? What are the best practices for letting go? Decryption by Sylvie Thibault, personal development expert.
Detach, let go, give in, abandon, renounce… All these terms are commonly associated with letting go. Hinduists also use the English expression to surrender which means “surrender” and more precisely “surrender your arms”.
Is letting go a paradox?
“Give your best!” », “be strong”… How to let go despite these daily injunctions and social pressure?
Added to this are new unconscious professional trends. Whatever the sector of activity or function, this includes hyperconnection, this “false friend”, a corollary of the excessive use of new technologies.
This excess of information inevitably leads into the infernal spiral of over-solicitation and multitasking. And for good reason, carrying out several tasks simultaneously leads to a drop in productivity and quality of work, dispersion and above all an inability to concentrate fully.
Mental and emotional stress
The resulting mental overload causes additional mental and emotional stress associated with responsibilities, work demands, deadline pressure, managing interpersonal relationships and making difficult decisions.
Not to mention the negative effects of teleworking. For some people, working from home blurs the line between work and home life. Being able to free up personal time becomes more difficult.
Some people are confronted with these phenomena without being aware of it… the brain exhausts the body. Which results in: a feeling of obligation, frustration, worry or constant pressure. All of these factors combined can lead to stress, professional, physical, emotional exhaustion, and even burnout.
Rather than waiting for life to change, it is necessary to make changes in your life. Letting go means taking charge of your life.
Letting go refers to the ability to :
– free yourself emotionally from stressful or tense situations
– focus exclusively on what we can change
– avoid fixating on a situation or negative thoughts, relax
Avoid unrealistic expectations, decrease surveillance, and place more trust in life to endure.
Reasons for not letting go
Why do some people have trouble letting go?
- Afraid of the unknown
It is the fear of what might happen once these people let go and are no longer in control of the situation.
- Emotional attachment
Some people are so attached to a situation, person or object that they have difficulty letting go.
- Need for control
Not knowing how to say no, being too perfectionist, having a tendency to plan or anticipate too much... Some people need to control everything in life. For example: a manager who does not delegate to his colleagues. Letting go represents for these people a loss of control, which may seem inconceivable to them.
- Fear of failure
For fear of failing or not being able to get through it.
- Habits and routines
" It was better before ! ". Some people are so used to their daily routine or a certain way of functioning that they find it difficult to change. They have difficulty experiencing change, remain confined to processes, do not ask questions, refuse questioning and novelty, or start their days the same way.
Example :
Despite multiple attempts to learn drawing, Marie, a young woman of 35, is unable to progress. There is therefore something in its mode of operation that “doesn’t work”. Consequence: she still has an academic level in this discipline. Marie must therefore accept her limits, that is to say, become aware of what she is capable of doing and, above all, of what she cannot do. Other disciplines could certainly suit him.
It is crucial to understand that letting go does not mean giving up or losing control.
However, it is better to accept what cannot be changed and free yourself from the weight of the things you cling to. This may take time and practice, sure. But it provides great relief and well-being once you get there.
Letting go means accepting your limits.
In practical terms, how do you let go?
What actions should be put in place?
Setting priorities by identifying what is essential to you
Take the time to think about what is truly important and crucial to your well-being. It involves making conscious choices and defining what is worthy of your time, energy and resources. By identifying your priorities, you will be able to better organize yourself and focus on what really matters. For example, the priority management matrix allows you to realize what is most important to you.
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Acquiring the ability to say no
It's learning to say no without feeling guilty. Remember that saying no is an act of self-preservation and you have the right to refuse a request that doesn't suit you.
It's listening to your own needs, your limits and redefining your scope of action. To do this, identify what you are willing to do and what you do not want to do. Likewise, be consistent in enforcing your boundaries.
For example, expressing your point of view as a colleague is also proof of “knowing how to say no” to your manager.
As a manager, you also have the right to choose between meetings that you consider essential and meetings that will not be a priority in your daily life.
These commitments are proof of assertiveness.
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Implementing strategies to improve your well-being
Define concrete and achievable goals to improve your daily well-being. Whether in terms of physical, mental, emotional or social health, they will make you feel better about your life.
Adopt healthy and positive habits in your daily life. For example, every evening when you leave work, name three things (events, actions, situations) that made you happy and of which you are proud. Remove all notifications and check your messages only 2-3 times a day. If an action is repeated 28 days in a row, this creates unconscious automation and this action will take hold more easily over time.
Manage your time and energy by organizing your schedule to include time for yourself. Do yourself good by taking breaks, taking care of yourself
Use virtual post-its (Notes) on Outlook
- Go to the Notes app:
- In Outlook, go to the left navigation pane and select "Notes."
- Or use Microsoft OneNote if you prefer a more comprehensive app.
- Create post-its for each activity:
For example: Create a note titled “Yoga” with links to videos or routines you like.
I can’t, I “let go”.
Immediate, tangible results
Reduction of stress and anxiety, improved sleep, well-being at work, balance between professional and personal life regained. The repercussions of letting go are quickly noticeable.
Letting go also makes it easier to make more rational decisions and manage conflicts more effectively. Letting go allows you to live better in the present moment. Putting an event into perspective allows you to gain perspective, reason better and provide the best solution.
Letting go helps you achieve your new goals and live in a more fulfilling way. You promote your balance, health and happiness in your daily life. So why remain addicted to your old sufferings and not be open to life's surprises?
