In a hyper-connected world with so many demands on your time, you have to adapt constantly to your environment, to events and to external requests... at the risk of damaging your health. To prevent burnout, there are practical solutions, based on communication. So how can you communicate better to avoid burn-out? What levers can you put in place to remedy the situation? Marine Gandouet, an expert in personal organisation, gives us her analysis.
Burnout is still underestimated, and its prevention neglected. Yet the burn-out figures are significant. According to the Empreinte Humaine barometer of March 2023, one employee in four is at risk of burn-out and one in two is in psychological distress.
Join Emma, a manager in an SME specialising in personal services, as she takes you through a practical case study.
Emma and the risk of exhaustion
At the age of 35, Emma is a manager with the company "Ensemble". She manages a team of 21 people who provide personal services including cleaning, administration, shopping and gardening.
She encounters difficulties on a daily basis:
- Team turnover 5 people left their jobs in 3 months
- Stress transmitted by the hierarchy The figures must always be better
- Misunderstandings within the team she can't make herself understood
Read also: How do you manage without burning out?
The risk of burn-out
Emma's profile shows several warning signs of burn-out:
- Disturbed sleep she wakes up twice a night and struggles to get back to sleep
- Impaired concentration and memory she can't concentrate as well as she used to, gets scattered and can't find her words several times a day
- Emotional She feels sadness, anger and fear on a daily basis.
Exhaustion is a process that occurs when we expend more energy than we are able to regenerate.
It comes into play when we experience transition periods and stressful situations. In this way, the ability to over-adapt is put to the test and a lot of energy is expended.
There are 2 main ways of alleviating this fatigue debt:
1/ Activate the regeneration process
2/ Reducing energy costs
This is the second lever we need to focus on. Practical solutions exist. Emma will be able to put them in place, thanks to its communication.
Optimising communication with yourself
Emma is going through a difficult period. She is juggling her personal and professional lives, without taking her internal indicators into account. If Emma doesn't know how she feels or what she needs, how can others? Communicating with others starts with communicating with yourself.
Body sensations
Sensations exist even before we can put words to them or attach them to an emotion. We can choose to run away from them, which would mean repressing our sensations.
It is possible to reinvest them. The skill that Emma could develop is that of self-observation. Feel what is present in your body, by focusing your attention on different parts of it, to perform a scan. Knowing how she feels will help her to know what she needs.
Here are some examples of how it feels:
| Heavy eyelids | A knot in the throat | Chills | Tense shoulders |
| Nausea | Short of breath | Jaws clenched | Itchy eyes |
| A relaxed body | A light body | Leaden feet | A heavy heart |
Emotions
Emotions are fleeting and give us an indication of what's going on inside us. Is it joy, anger, sadness or fear? In the same way as bodily sensations, connecting with her emotions will help Emma better understand her needs. Because behind every emotion lies a need.
Here are some examples of emotions:
| Nervous | Furious | Afraid | Excited |
| Intimidated | Serein | Euphoric | Only |
| Calm | Sad | Worried | Jealous |
Your needs
As a reminder, all needs are legitimate and universal. It is what seems necessary to a person.
As mentioned, behind every emotion lies a need. It's by becoming aware of your needs that your emotions will follow. We might ask ourselves how to respond to sadness, for example. Staying on the emotional side is not interesting. It will then be impossible to regain a sense of well-being.
Here's an example: Emma has identified that she feels sad. She can ask herself what she needs.
I feel sad > The need: time to myself
Here are some examples of requirements:
| Listen to | Privacy | Support | Fulfilment |
| Justice | Exploration | Solitude | Simplicity |
| Relaxation | Independence | Distraction | Trust |
Making requests of yourself
The need is different from the solution. Once the need has been identified, Emma can ask herself how she is going to meet or feed each need, by making a request of herself. She has identified the need time for yourself. For example, you could ask yourself: "When can I spare 1 or 2 hours a week just for me?
Optimising your communication with others
Communicating with yourself is essential, but it's not enough when you're in contact with other people such as colleagues, customers, etc.
Here are a number of avenues to explore.
Reformulation
To make sure that she has understood the person she is talking to, it is a good idea for Emma to rephrase what they have said, especially in a conflict situation. Emma can rephrase in her own words or by repeating a few key words from the customer she is communicating with who has expressed dissatisfaction with a service.
For example:
- Customer: "It's unacceptable, the bins weren't taken out and the bathroom sink was dirty. I can't pay for such a service. I would like someone to come back and finish cleaning this morning...".
- Emma: "If I understand correctly, you don't think this is acceptable and you'd like us to send someone back to finish the housework, is that it?"
This allows the customer to get feedback, or at best to feel listened to and understood. If not, it's a way of giving information. From Emma's point of view, this immediately helps to reduce misunderstandings and avoid wasting time and effort.
The hard facts
Emma decides to phone the member of staff who handled the assignment for the unhappy customer. If she gets annoyed and starts asking for explanations to follow up the problem without going back over the context, the member of staff is likely to get frustrated and close the discussion. On the other hand, if Emma goes back to the concrete facts that provide neutrality, there is no need to pass judgement on the employee.
For example: I've just had Mr Martin on the phone about the cleaning that was done this morning at his home. He told me word for word "it's unacceptable, the bins weren't taken out and the bathroom sink was dirty". Can you tell me how the job went for you?
Sharing emotions and needs
Emma has been able to observe her emotions and needs following the customer's call. After giving the context, she can explain to her colleague that she felt angry following the call and that it needs professionalism. She can then ask her colleague how they are feeling and what they need.
Finding solutions together
Emma understands that the employee is very tired at the moment because he is looking after one of his sick relatives. He mentions a need for rest that he hadn't dared mention before.
Being able to talk things through will enable Emma and the employee to find solutions together. For example, reorganising working hours and workload, or taking days off or time off in advance.
In the event of burn-out, limiting energy expenditure is a powerful lever. In particular, this means optimising your communication with yourself and with others. Asking yourself what your emotions, needs or sensations are isn't innate; it takes practice. The more you develop the skill of self-observation, the easier it will be to say "no" or to ask otherwise. The more aware you are of your limits, the more you can guard against exhaustion.
