The difficult personalities of certain employees can make your meetings ineffective or even counter-productive. With major consequences for team dynamics, the achievement of objectives and the success of projects. So how do you best manage tricky situations in meetings? Find out from Sandrine Bertrand, ORSYS trainer and expert in communication, management and personal development.
For any manager, it's essential to run well-focused, effective meetings. But it can happen that certain employees with difficult personalities impose themselves on the group in a counter-productive way.
What is a 'difficult personality'?
Everyone has their own perception, depending on their experience and frame of reference. Under this term, we might recognise a person who is dissipated, aggressive, indifferent, self-effacing, provocative, disrespectful, constantly questioning what is said...
Finally, the terms "difficult personalities" can refer to anyone behaving inappropriatelyIn other words, far too far back or beyond the limits deemed acceptable in a professional context.
When faced with situations that could quickly become delicate, whether in person or remotely, managers can make the most of the following advantages five keys to optimising meetings and calming discussions.
Managing difficult personalities upstream
Just as you need to prepare for a meeting, you may also need to "prepare" certain participants. In other words, those who you know from experience can pose a problem for you.
Communication is essential. And so it is, talk assertively with difficult personalities before the meeting is a real plus. For example, it may be a question of reassuring a shy person or individually setting a benevolent but firm framework for someone who is known to be "too agitated". But to do this, you need to know the participants well, which is not always easy.
In all cases, setting the scene beforehand and then stating the "rules of the game" again at the start of the meeting can help you to manage the situation more effectively.
A few best practices:
- Remind participants of the timing and purpose of the meeting, the time limits for speaking or question-and-answer sessions if necessary, the rules of civility and the need for everyone to listen.
- Ask each participant in turn to report on the meeting, which requires everyone to listen. Variation: announce at the start of the meeting that one person will take the minutes and only give their name at the end of the meeting.
- Assign responsibilities to difficult people, by offering them a real role in the meeting. Being the "timekeeper", the facilitator of debates and speaking turns, or the person who writes down the key ideas on a board... In short, this means giving difficult participants a part of the role of the facilitator.
Sometimes, a "live my life" can be a lifesaver!
Give priority to listening while remaining firm on the framework
During the meeting, you need to be a good listener. If you want people to listen to you, you have to listen first!
To do this, use the tools of active listening. In particular, the famous CQQCOQP (how, who, what, how much, where, when, why), the Swiss army knife of communication! It's an essential tool if you want to be a good communicator in any situation, and all the more so when you're chairing a meeting with difficult people. It should enable you to better understand certain behaviours or needs and, consequently, any objections or difficulties.
Managing your own emotions when dealing with difficult people
Knowing how to recognise and manage your own emotions at the time is essential if you are to run the meeting smoothly and maintain a calm atmosphere. First of all, this presupposes that you know how to remain calm and pleasant, even when dealing with difficult personalities. Secondly, you need to know how to express your emotions constructivelyusing an appropriate communication technique.
For example:
The "sandwich" method
The idea?
- first, start the discussion with something positive
- then continue with what may be negative or more delicate
- Finally, to conclude with a positive overall assessment
The DESC
A 4-step method for communicate assertively.
D as in Describing the facts
E as in Expressing your feelings
S as in Suggest a solution
C like Concluding positively
On the other hand, once you're out of the meeting and on your own, don't hesitate to express your emotions if you need to (breathe, do some sport, write down what's upsetting you...).
Change your presentation technique to avoid the group effect
Pay close attention throughout your meeting, because any "disruptive" participant can quickly drag the group down with them. One thing is certain: you have to react quickly, at the slightest disturbance. Otherwise, the "snowball effect" can happen very quickly and the avalanche will sweep you away before you've had time to say anything.
What can we do?
Changing your animation technique can sometimes be a very good option. For example, you can split the group into small working groups to "put out the fire" or to make a much more self-effacing participant feel more at ease...
When dealing with difficult personalities, you will need to keep the "lead" in the meeting. If one person is too intrusive and makes a bit of a spectacle of himself in front of the others, ask her to write down anything well-founded she has to say on the subjectfor example, citing a lack of time for oral participation.
In all cases, remain neutral in the event of conflict between two participants.
Finally, it may be necessary to stop a meeting when it becomes too difficult. Take a break or, as a last resort, postpone the meeting. And above all, don't forget to reframe in private the difficult personality or personalities who are disrupting everything and forcing you into this decision.
Remote meetings: a few tips for dealing with difficult personalities
Video-conferencing meetings can accentuate certain traits of difficult personalities (self-effacing, dissipated, etc.). That's why, before the meeting, you can send each participant a welcome e-mail to set out the complete framework: precise date and time, objectives, rules of civility, etc.
Make good use of the camera!
To say hello, but also to encourage listening and attention... during a remote meeting, use the camera! To do this, ask everyone to activate their own camera at the start of the meeting.
"I'd be delighted to see you again with your best smile behind the screen..."
To remember: without non-verbal language (facial expressions, gaze, body language, etc.), there is a high risk of negative interpretation. In fact, if the image is missing, the "blank" moments in the exchanges may lead you to believe that the people are not listening, have a problem connecting, are doing something else... when in fact the opposite may be true!
It's up to you to set an example: frame yourself properly. In other words, the top of the head at the top of the screen and the middle of the chest at the bottom of the screen.
So that everyone feels involved, distribute roles Session secretary, timekeeper...
That is, if you still doubt that some people are good listeners, ask open-ended questions to probe their state of concentration.
Now you're armed with some useful tips. Enjoy your meetings!
